June 8th, 2026

dear diary,

tomorrow im getting my wisdom teeth out. AHHH. i need to remember to ask if i can keep them! i'd love to make one into a necklace for merri. i think that'd be so cute hehe. nd maybe eventually something for summer too... guh. but anyways. i'm a little annoyed because my mom was supposed to be going out of town on the 11th, but she decided to stay in case i need help after the surgery. SIGH. i appreciate it a lot of course, but i was looking forward to some time alone and maybeeee. sneaking out to get some.. y'know. hehe.

speaking of, i miss cock. not even in a super horny way just... i miss it. idk how to put it into works lolol. maybe just the closeness? i've been missing cuddling and kissing as well.. not to downplay how much i miss sex but. i do think my libido has been slowing down. though being so bored, i've been jerking off plenty just bc it's something fun to do lol.

hmmm.. let's see. oh, some bad news :( i got some bloodwork back and my a1c is. really high. which is annoying especially because my glucose has been better! but it's making me worried about my top surgery in august... i just really hope things work out! i'll try to at least maybe be more active nd eat okay in the little time i have til then...

i'm also worried about merri... it doesn't take well to being alone. plus, it had some issues with its car.. i don't wanna go into detail here, but it can't drive for.. a while at least. which limits A LOT. very bad because it can't really work, and i can't cover groceries while im gone... i know it at least has been talking to its mom nd dad to work on a plan to figure things out. i really hope it can get a job soon.. for its sake, not just for me. i think it really needs that structure, like i do. i'm hoping maybe like. with my class schedule next semester being 8-5 pretty much every day like. i dunno. we can figure something out even if it doesn't have a stable Job job..

but i'm trying not to worry too much! i do really think it's made progress with mental health things. and like. i dunno how to phrase it. but i'm really proud of her. i've just been thinking more about the future with me starting my 3rd year of uni.

ever since summer brought up us three living together... i've been really thinking about it. i mean, it'd be after i'm graduated and everything. and i mean, summer and merri haven't even been together... let's see. 04/11.. i guess it'll be two months on thursday! cute hehe. BUT. um. anyways, they haven't been together that long. but i really don't wanna move back home.. i love rochester! i wanna get a job and start saving up. have something lined up so i can move into a place that's REALLY mine.. i'm sure things further from campus will be less expensive? hopefully.. i just wanna stay here. with merri. and, yknow, maybe summer... hng

god this is a long entry lol. but it's my website diary!!

but yeah i mean. looking at maze & nick's place... i'd love to have a place like that. a proper room for the computers so that merri can be as loud as it wants! nd it can also be a little at home office for me. a bed actually big enough for 3 people, a couch that isn't weird peeling pleather (ugh). maybe even a real tv hehe. but that all takes.. money. i know i have time but. the semesters go by faster and faster!! but i'm like. on the edge of going on Zillow, y'know. just to see how much i'd need.. guh. i'm. so. sigh.

anyways. that's enough gross domestic yearning. i should TRY to sleep soon, i have to be up early for my surgery.. i'm so nervous i'm gonna admit something weird UGH. i'm not ready to tell my mom about summer.. ALSO not ready and likely never will be to admit ANY kink stuff... but it feels like those are two topics i think about constantly.. so.. hopefully i just won't be able to talk with all the gauze and such sob sob. wish me luck !!

love,

bat