June 14th, 2026

dear diary,

it's been a few days! i was recovering from getting my wisdom teeth out, and then kinda just nothing was going on. i kinda talked to merri and some friends about gender stuff, i dunno if it helped or anything guh. but i'm glad i'm telling people nd can try things out.

yesterday i wasn't doing great.. ugh. i actually got horny for the first time in a bit, and then i just suddenly felt weird and gross and creepy :( i also talked to merri about some anxiety stuff around s and it was good to just kinda get it out but merri also made me feel a bit better.

ultimately i just kinda have to get through being out of town because. like. things are just gonna be like. both of us agree s is maybe more physical than verbal with affection which. just kinda. sucks when i'm too far for any physical affection. but i'm just gonna deal with it for a few more weeks.

i went out for lunch with my aunt and uncle yesterday which was good. my aunt was asking me about getting a job which i'm ughhgf about. i want to get one, i'm kinda trying. but also i'm worried about classes. if i have to quit when classes start (or when i get my surgery) and i would only be able to work for like a month. and my aunt was like acting as if that was possible... sigh.

i'm like super tired, i don't know if i'm making sense. so i'm gonna say bye for now!

love,

bat